- Tap into your natural charisma - May 2003 "We're all born with charisma, as we grow up we forget how to use it" - by Lila Green Cathy, 38, a department-store sales woman in Seattle, is a charmer. Friendly and enthusiastic, she makes the most sales in her department because, as on co-worker say, You find yourself drawn to Cathy. She seems so easygoing. Cathy laughs at the description of herself, I get as cranky as anyone else, she says, but does admit that she's at a time in her life when she feels particularly good about herself. Cathy hasn't always felt this way. When I was younger, I was really shy and insecure. But as I got older, I realized that I was funny. I was a devoted mother and I could hold down a job I enjoyed. But the biggest change was that I stopped being mean to myself. Whenever I began to think you're so stupid I would stop and think, would you talked that way to someone you loved Of course the answer was no, so I stopped doing it to myself. Not surprisingly, soon after Cathy changed the way she talked to herself, the way she thought about herself changed as well. And as her self-confidence grew, so did her charisma. Cathy's success with people just confirms what Christen Brown says in her book, Star Quality. We're all born with a natural charm and confidence that's why babies are always the center of attention. "When people feel good within themselves, they naturally shine like stars." But as we grow up, most of us lose that confidence. The work of becoming charismatic is really just re-creating the confidence we were born with. The easiest way to do that, says Brown, is to think positively about yourself. When people feel good within themselves, they naturally shine like stars. You don't need to put on a fake smile or try to hard to be liked. You will be liked and accepted because of your relaxed and natural self. - Christen Brown